just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize