Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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