Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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