Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
