he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
