we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize