I'm eating all of the evidence.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize