I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
