I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
