I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
