kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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