How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
