I CAN MOONWALK!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
