I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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