STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
