How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
