Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
