he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
