Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
