im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
