i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
