i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no you cant smoke seaweed
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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