Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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