Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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