saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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