I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
