Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
