Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
