Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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