i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
