its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize