my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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