never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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