so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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