just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Someone signed my nipple.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
