I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
