wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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