I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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