epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
They have beer where we have blood.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
