Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
