He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
