Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
