You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
