I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
