I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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