In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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