You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
