New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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