took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
