Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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