some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
