what day is it and did you see me today?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
