I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
