i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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